Prospective Previews: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete Trailer

Welcome to the first Final Fantasy-related blog post of the new year. It was only a matter of time, especially considering the sweet new FFXIII trailer released just this week.

But I’m not talking about that just yet, because a last minute new trailer for Advent Children Complete was released today. Gotta focus on my priorities, you know.

Unfortunately, NA PCs may stutter in agony under Japan’s superior bandwith powers, but I’ve got you covered: Here is a direct download of the above trailer. You can also nab the trailer (along with the newest FFXIII trailer) in the PS3’s Japanese Store. If you need info on how to set up a Japanese account (a serious must for PS3 owners), just look here.

This was by far the best trailer for the movie, showcasing lots of new, action crazy scenes. You thought the last movie was overdone in that department? Nomura didn’t, that’s why he added motorcycle vs helicopter fights, or bazookas that can take out entire bridges, and buildings being effortlessly sliced in half like butter….being sliced in half.

Anyway, I took some screencaps as well, which you can check out below. I’ve sorted them about relating to the new scenes shown:

1. Elena POV (and FPS)

It isn't fair. North American players thought I was dead for ten years!

“Elena was in this movie?” That was a common question going around for people who didn’t understand the incredibly rushed opening to Advent Children, in which Elena and Tseng are investigating the Northern Crater where Cloud and company had their final battle with Sephiroth. Reno and Rude are hanging up top in a helicopter while their (apparently disposable) leader and rookie Turk are taken out by three gun-touting enemies….

Somebody watched Spider-Man 3.

When I heard that AC:C would have new, re-done footage, one of the first things I thought of was an extended version of the opening scene from Elena’s point of view. Maybe she had a portable camera that would get all shakey once the shooting started, followed by a quick shot of the three brothers being born from Sephiroth’s remains.

Well, look at that, they actually included it. If you can look past the swooning fangirls, the naked introduction of Kadaj and his bros is done rather well, and a bit creepy.

People will die, starting tonight. I'm a man of my word. Hoo Ha Ha Ha Ha!

2. Motorcycle vs Helicopter

Mortorcylces don't work that way!

As if the original motorcycle chase between Cloud and the clones wasn’t exaggerated enough, we now have an additional sequence where the Turks give spikey some air support. Unfortunately, the Seph brothers are now equipped with machine guns mounted on their bikes, something Nomura really, really, really wanted to have in the original movie.

3. More Tifa! Woo!

If she was in her old outfit, you'd totally be getting a panty shot right now.

As much as I’m hoping for new romantic, talkie moments between the two conflicted lovers, any new scenes of Tifa in general is only a plus for me. Tifa’s fight in the first movie quickly grabbed the attention of fans and newcomers alike for its beautifully choreographed martial arts, but unfortunately she took a backseat for the remainder of the film afterwards.

You think this'll stop me? I've taken on a bigger crowd in conventions! My hands are drenched in fanboy blood!!

No worries, because FFVII’s leading heroine (that’s right, I went there) has been given some extra fight scenes, holding off an army of Phantom Beasts to protect her adopted son. It’ll take a lot more than a single Mega Flare to bring this lady down.

Here's where I'll be testing the new ragdoll physics for the new sce-holy crap aaaaaaghhhhhh!

Two Mega Flares, on the other hand….

I usually don't get this lowbrow on the blog, but I couldn't resist.

Uh, moving on…

4. More of the Other Guys! Woo!

Why the hell ain't Square giving me my own game!? Aren't I appealing enough to a mass audience? What a load of &%$* and *@%$*, bunch of mother %*#@$ up the @#$

Another plus is some extended fighting with the other party members, who unfortunately had their screentime kept to a minimum in order to develop the most popular characters first. Here we can see some extra fight scenes, but it’s unknown just how much this will increase their total screentime in the new cut.

Looks like he ate some ice cream in a hurry. Anti-fans will probably substitute that with something more NSFW.

5. Case of Denzel?

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I ever had...

Most surprising for me in the new trailer is some new footage with Denzel, which I immediately recognized from the Case of Denzel short story, which was part of the “On The Way To A Smile” novel miniseries released alongside AC. Is this just a quick flashback to show how Denzel and Cloud first met (something sorely needed, considering the slight obscurity of the novels), or could it be a full fledged additional short film?

Wasn't there a movie with a name like this? It sucked, right? Pretty sure it sucked.

It is my sincere hope that it ends up being the latter, because it opens up the possibility of the wonderfully written Case of Tifa short story being included as a bonus short as well. Seriously, go read it if you haven’t yet.

6. Blowin’ Up Bridges

Self explanatory.

Remain calm, citizens. The Turks are here to protect you.

Uh...don't worry, that was Shelbyville.

7. Slicin’ Up Buildings

Also needs no explanation.

Take that, buildings! You think you're so hot, crashing and falling on my head! Suck it!

It is oddly similar to the final area in Kingdom Hearts II, in which Sora also dispatches of falling buildings at ease. And that was with a key.

8. Cloud vs That Other Guy

To the surprise of no one, the final, epic one on one battle between Cloud and Sephiroth will be further extended to include more…

Feathers!

Blood!

Cat Eyes!

Despair!

Limit Breaks!

Anyway, the movie’s due out in April, and supposedly the English cast has already recorded the new lines. Given that knowledge, it’s inconceivable for Sony and Square to take an 8 month long gap between the Japanese and American releases like they did with the original DVD. I can’t claim to know all the stupid decisions they make, though, so all I can do is hope it doesn’t take as long.

In closing, take a look at this final picture.

Take a look at Cloud's right eye. His right, not yours.

Retroactive Reviews: Penumbra: Overture Episode One

Hey folks. It’s been a little while since my last post, but that’s mostly due to me establishing some new website contacts.

I’m proud to say that I’m now working as a News Contributor for Beef Jack, a fairly new but well maintained website where I’ll be posting weekly game news. I’ve got two posts to my name for now, and hopefully there won’t be too many dry periods where nothing of interest is leaked out into forums. I may also get bumped up as a reviewer soon, if Beefjack manages to start sending out games to their employees as they hope to do.

I’ve also gotten a response back from Armchair after almost a month of no contact. They’re going to be sending me Skate 2 soon to review. Having never played a skateboarding game since Tony Hawk 3 on the PS2, I’m quite interested to see how far skating gaming has been playing. Flaming.

They’re also sending me Kingdom Hearts RE: Chain of Memories on the PS2. Shh, don’t tell them I already played that one.

And finally, I’ve submitted my first review for British site Z Connect, Penumbra: Overture Episode One. As it’s commonly stereotyped how Brits tend to be witty and funny, I worked toward writing the review in a similar manner. Does it hold up? Find out below:

Update: It seems it held up quite well, as my editor found the review to be “excellent and entertaining to read”. That definitely makes me happy, so I’ll continue with that same style of writing with their site.

You can find the direct link here.

Penumbra: Overture Episode One

What exactly is a Penumbra? Wikipedia describes it as “the region in which only a portion of the occulting body is obscuring the light source.” Good to know.

And there certainly is a lot of obscured light sources in Penumbra: Overture Episode One, the first of developer Friction Games’ PC horror trilogy (which was briefly cut into a two-parter before shortly becoming a trilogy again), which places our hero (a thirty-something physicist named Phillip) in an abandoned mine that spirals deeper below the earth, as he journeys to unravel a deep secret laid out by a letter from his supposedly dead father Howard.

The opening narration states that despite not being very close to Daddy, Phillip’s curiosity eggs him on to partake in Howard’s post-mortem (or is it?) mystery. Apparently curiosity didn’t tell him to bring a jacket, because once players step off the boat and into the snow-storming isle of Greenland, they have to make a mad dash to the mysterious shelter before the cold saps away at their health.

From there, players will traverse areas full of unstable structures, locked doors, several convenient tools and files, obscured light sources and unanswered questions.

Oh, and hungry undead dogs, worms, and spiders. The game contains only three types of enemies, but they are all deadly mutations that will attack on sight, and Phillip’s measly weapons of pick axes and hammers will do little to subdue the ravenous monstrosities. Despite what Gordon Freeman may lead you to believe, most thirty year old scientists can’t fight like army commandos, and the most Phillip can hope to accomplish is to momentarily stun the creatures while making a quick escape. A better option involves hiding from the creatures altogether, switching off the flashlight and hiding behind a crate or wall until the AI makes a random turn away from you.

P:OEO (an acronym, not the newest Star Wars droid) is a mystery game first before anything else, and it’s up to players to inspect every nook, cranny and corpse to find the clues needed to travel deeper into the mines (and maybe find a path that will work its way upward and into daylight). When the clues aren’t keys to a locked door, they are items of dubious quality that usually require a combination so that Phillip can create his own way out (a quest to clear a blockading rubble involves finding the fuse, sticks, gunpowder, and lighter needed to create an explosive). Aside from frequent radio hints from the enigmatic “Red” (a person trapped along with Phillip? a figment of his imagination? Daddy?), the game is devoid of voice acting and sticks mostly to text descriptions and files to guide players further along, and the developer’s HPL engine (take a guess what that stands for. Think about the setting) makes like Nintendo and forces players to use their mice to open table drawers, swing tools, and turn cranks in order to create a new type of innovative gameplay; It works, for the most part, but some levers require a large circular turn that might require players to invest in a larger mouse pad, if not a wider desk.

There are also moments in the game that borrow another common fad in today’s console games, Quick Time Events. In some quick-paced situations, you only have a few seconds to spare in order to escape whatever is quickly catching up behind you, and one wrong step could result in instant death. Even areas where you can take your time may require multiple restarts in order to figure out the correct patterns or opportunities to traverse forward.

The final draw against Penumbra is its short length; at a mere three or four hours, the game ends with a very abrupt cliffhanger that sets the stage for its next episode. A Penumbra collection is slated to arrive soon that will contain all three games in the trilogy. Whether Overture: Episode One can stand on its own to warrant an individual purchase will be up to the consumer, but at a cheap price and a low-lit environment, the game can bring an entertaining experience full of solid writing and creepy visuals that won’t require five denimite mem-shards for your PC to run it. Recommended.

Final Score: 73%

Valkyria Chronicles Manga

Earlier today I was treated to a link to the first three chapters of the Valkyria Chronicles manga, kindly sent to me from a fellow Penny Arcade member. The timing was notable as well, since it was also the same day that I finally finished the game.

Much like anime adaptions, manga versions of a popular game series can be hit or miss; They can tell the story pretty much word for word, using the artwork to attract people (Kingdom Hearts), or it can completely deviate from the original story to develop the characters through the author’s interpretation (several of the Zelda manga stories).

Valkyria Chronicles borrows a little from both worlds in order to create, at least from what is included here, a very solid adaption to a spectacular game.

Isara is so damn cute.

The artwork is quite impressive, staying true to the original designs without downgrading them too much for a manga budget, and it stays mostly true to the original script with some minor alterations here and there.

Not the best way to start a relationship.

But the real surprise is how much darker the manga is. The original game didn’t hold back on the violence and loss of life that occurs in war, but the manga pushes thigns a bit further with more blood, along with a few more somewhat disturbing scenes showing how war spares no one (one scene has Welkin take refuge in a recently attacked school).

Rosie's an even bigger bitch here. Also, she appears to have some food stuck on her lip.

The racial persecution among Isara and the other Darcsens is expanded a bit more in the manga, as well. Notice how in this adaption, the Darcsen members of Squad 7 are now included in the racial outing, while Darcsen haters like Cezary are seen rallying with Rosie.

One day I'll play Skies of Arcadia. I swear it.

And that’s the best thing about this manga: The further development of the secondary squad members. Vyse, Edy, Cherrie, and the rest get their due in almost every page, expanding on their personnel files from the original game.

And I won’t spoil the little moment between Largo and Jann.

And to think I reloaded a save to keep him from dying. Douchebag.

Even though the new scenes can make for further amusement of the fan favorite squad members, it can also bring to light the darker traits of others, like Cezary here.

And I thought Aerith was passionate about flowers.

Or in the case of characters like Jane here, it can also show you just how batshit insane some squad members can be.

Anyway, you can grab the manga here. Give it a read, buy it if/when it’s officially released by Tokyopop or Viz, hope that the anime is as respectful of the original source material as the manga, and of course, play the game if you haven’t already.

That’s an order, 7’s. Move out!

Character Corner: Sherry Birkin

These days, when it comes to discussing the Resident Evil series, fans unanimously praise Resident Evil 4 as the best game in the series, if not all time.

They aren’t wrong with their choice, but it wasn’t too long ago when Resident Evil 2 was the top dog among fans, and it still holds a special place in my heart for not only introducing me to the world of Survival Horror, but was also one of the first games to really show me what the Playstation could do.

As we get closer to Resident Evil 5’s release, I’ve decided to talk about the one dangling loose-end from the 2nd game, little Sherry Birkin.

"I saw someone do that on TV once." Aww.

Having a young, defenseless character tossed in with a group of heavily armed, somewhat capable survivors in a horror setting is one of the oldest cliches in the book, but considering the infancy of the Survival Horror genre at the time, Sherry’s inclusion in RE2 was pretty innovative. Seen mostly in Claire’s scenario, players were treated to the concept of having to care for and protect a helpless NPC in a setting where death came in many faces and from many angles. The way Sherry would stick close to Claire and grasp her hand was a unique, emotional touch, years before everyone praised Ico for the very same concept.

There was also a brief section of the game where you were forced to take control of Sherry in order to retrieve an important key item (a, uh…key). Having no way to defend herself, the scenario made for an extra level of tension and fear.

It’s just too bad that the zombies were downgraded to merely vomiting on Sherry as she avoided them, most likely to avoid any extra controversy involving child murder (it’s the same reason they had to scrap their plans to include zombie kids in the first game). Ironically enough, Capcom had no problem having the zombie dogs take a bite out of her using their standard lunging attacks. You thought those dogs were spooky enough when they were busting through windows, imagine having to outrun them with a character that’s roughly the same size as them.

It wasn’t much of a shock that Sherry would survive the zombie outbreak by the end of the game, and it looked like she would spend the remainder of her days with Claire, who apparently took her in as an adoptive sister or daughter.

But then came the extra epilogue endings from Resident Evil 3, tossing in a new wave of twists and cliffhangers to further extend the story post-Racoon City.

I have value, you say? Interesting....let us talk.

The first one involves Leon being confronted by a “government official”, offering him some sort of deal in exchange for Sherry. Knowing what a badass Leon is (or will become), you’d think his sharp response would be to “piss off”, but apparently he was given one heck of a good deal, because….

Sorry kid, she totally does.

It seems he really did hand Sherry over to the government. Leon must really like being told that he has value.

But there’s no way Claire would stand for this sudden exchange, right?

Wilderness? I thought she was going to look for him in Europe. Uhh...

Nope, because it looks like it was done behind her back. Apparently taking place before the two epilogues above, Claire is seen here being brushed off by Leon so she can go after her brother. I’ve wondered for the longest time what was going on in this epilogue, with Leon and Sherry being mentioned to need medical attention, but looking at this pic again, it’s possible that this takes place immediately after their escape from RE2. It would make sense considering Leon’s bandages and Claire’s jacket-less look, but it didn’t always click with me since the ending originally showed that final portrait with Claire and Sherry riding off in a motorcycle.

Anyway, Claire goes off searching for Chris, which leads to the events of Code Veronica. It’s assumed that she wasn’t made aware of Leon handing Sherry over to the government, because….

It turns out that shadowy government figure wasn’t actually working for the government (surprise!), but instead was one of Wesker’s men.

Even so, Claire does survive the ordeals in Code Veronica, so it would make sense that she comes back to check up on Sherry, right?

Oh snap, that dude got his head blown off! Sherry-who? Unsolved plot-what? Screw that shit, I'm shooting heads off! This game kicks ass!!

For several years, we were left without an answer to that, because the RE series had entered a “dark age” of sorts, where Capcom worked tirelessly to make the fourth game in the series really, really good, but couldn’t decide on a scenario that satisfied them. After constant rewrites, they settled on placing Leon in a remote Spanish village fighting waves of non-zombies that chased after you, carried weapons, and screamed how they were going to carve you into meat chunks (in Spanish). Awesomeness ensued, and right now all you readers are thinking of replaying the game for the hundredth time. Do it.

Anyway, the critical success of Resident Evil 4 only guaranteed more sequels, so it didn’t take too long for the fifth entry to get announced, staring Chris Redfield in a decidedly controversial African setting.

For the fifth Resident Evil, we were promised that the story would take a darker, almost crueler tone than previous games. It certainly looks it, based on the trailers featuring more menacing (and more violent) enemies, a gritty Black Hawk Down-inspired aesthetic, and an all around gloomier feel that doesn’t leave much room for quips about bingo or small-time cult leaders.

But a darker tale wasn’t the only thing Capcom promised. They also promised the return of an old character that hasn’t been seen for a while, one that’s been “kept in confinement for several years.”

Skinny little Sherry Birkin. She grew up. She filled out.

That comment, plus the teaser image above leaves little doubt the returning character is Sherry, who’s now an adult following the 7 plus years after RE2’s story. As you can see, she’s sleeping in some sort of hibernation tank, which RE veterans should know by now is never a good sign.

I waited for you, Claire.

Even less encouraging is the menacing gaze she gives before the trailer goes black. Considering the malicious nature of her captor (along with the theory that William left a viral legacy within her), it wouldn’t be a stretch to guess that Sherry’s been experimented on ever since her capture. Will Chris and his new politically-correct partner have to face her? Will he be able to save Sherry, or will he have to resort to a mercy killing?

Some of you might be scoffing me for even following Resident Evil’s confusing, poorly written storyline. Just go with the flow, and bust some undead heads open, right? Well, I don’t entirely share that sentiment; Even though the series has always maintained a level of cheesy horror movie drama (purely intentional for RE4, not so much for previous games), I have to give Capcom for maintaining one of the longest-lasting videogame plots out there, where almost every game has followed a strict continuity, always letting us know where each entry falls in the timeline, and what almost every character has been up to.

The short of it is that I do care about most of the RE cast, whether it’s to cheer bad assess like Leon and Chris, show sympathy for female characters like Claire and Rebbeca, or love to hate series mastermind Wesker, who has yet to be properly defeated and always chews up the scenery whenever he shows up, like a good villain should be. So it’s within my rights to ponder the fate of Sherry Birkin, the most helpless character in the RE series, as her briefly-mentioned capture has been one of the longest unsolved mysterious in a game’s plot since Janus’ sister.

It should also be worth mentioning that Resident Evil is a progressively darker, less forgiving series since the 2nd entry; The set pieces have grown darker and moodier, major characters have been killed onscreen (with a hideous mutation occurring before or after said death), and the BOW creations have been more horrific in both appearance and backstory. Just take a look at Lisa Trevor’s story, which is probably the cruelest and most disturbing creature story I’ve read yet, and that’s including anything from Silent Hill.

Now, it is true that in a case between whether Capcom has planned Sherry’s reappearance for just the right occasion, or just plum forgot about her and quickly tossed her in, the latter argument is probably the most valid. However, there’s still potential for this subplot to evolve into something interesting, and maybe a little moving. Having Sherry appear in RE5 as someone who first appeared as sweet and innocent, but has grown into something dangerous and resentful after years of torturous experimentation can be quite a tragic scenario for players to witness, and fills in quite nicely with the promise of a darker tone for the sequel.

However, I’d hate for Sherry’s “transformation” to occur without Claire being present, and it’s looking less and less likely that she’ll make an appearance considering the number of new female characters (as well as the rumored reappearance of a certain master of unlocking). It just isn’t the same for Chris to have an emotional and physical confrontation with her, especially since we don’t even know if he knows who she is (though that didn’t stop Leon from knowing who Wesker was in RE4, even though the two have never met face to face). It’s possible that Sherry will be a recurring villain, leading up to a future battle between her and Claire, but I’d rather have her story over and done with by the time part 5 rolls out (2 more months!).

Although it’s still unconfirmed if Claire is aware at all of Sherry’s disappearance.

Shoot 'em in the head.

One of the things that initially excited me about the CG film Degeneration was the reunion between Leon and Claire. Unfortunately, the interaction between the two former partners is casual at best, with no mention at all about Sherry. In fact, Claire has pretty much dumped her in favor of a new, cuter Indian girl. She also has a brief fling with a new male character in the movie (it’s Crispin Freeman’s voice, isn’t it? I know it’s sexy and all, but….), despite her tragic affair with Steve in Code Veronica. Apparently breaking up is no problem at all for Claire, and it seems she and Leon will never get together outside of someone’s fanfiction (Leon, meanwhile, nearly hooks up with a new female officer in this flick, who when out of uniform possesses a rack even larger than RE4’s Ashley).

The movie was still decent, even if the stiff character animation was nowhere near the level of Advent Children, but aside from a teaser about RE5’s evil biological corporation TriCell, it failed to deliver any news on the Sherry situation. Does Claire think she’s still safe in the army? Is she silently worried? Who the heck knows.

Well when all is said and done, I hope this mystery finally comes to a close in Resident Evil 5 (I also hope the game manages to match RE4’s near-perfection), and that it ends happily at that. Sherry’s had enough of a hard-knock life without having to follow in her father’s footsteps.

Those are some very painful, uncomfortable shoes to fill.

Retroactive Reviews: Persona 4

It’s a bit later than the estimated time, but hey, better late than never. Better never than on time.
Will this be my final Primotech review? Only time will tell, but I sure hope not.

It’s the last P4 review on the entire internet, but I hope you enjoy it, as always.

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4

Video killed more than the Radio Star.

Atlus took a rather big risk releasing Persona 3 to North America, at a time when many gamers had jumped the Playstation 2 ship in favor of the latest, next gen systems. The gamble paid off, however, both for gamers starving for a new quality RPG to play, and for Atlus, who was happy enough with the game’s sales that they also released the “director’s cut” edition of the game, FES, containing more than enough content to give players a reason to double dip.

It is thanks to Persona 3’s strong reception that the latest sequel, Persona 4, was quickly localized for the U.S. following its Japanese release. Even though the next-gen adoption rate is even higher since P3’s release, Persona 4 contains enough improvements and additions to help it stand out not only from its predecessor, but from technically superior offerings as well.

Persona 4 takes place in Inaba village, a quaint little slice of Japanese country life, where students bicycle to class, families share three bedroom shacks, and Mom n’ Pop stores are quickly shutting down due to the rising commercialism of Wal-Mart (renamed “Junes”, for legal reasons).

Also, on fog-covered nights, murder occurs. Murder most foul.

After quickly (but not quite comfortably) settling into his new life in Inaba, high school transfer student Soji Seta (his default name, for those lacking creativity or a cool enough real name) finds himself involved in a growing mystery involving “The Midnight Channel”, an urban legend whispered among the students that anyone who gazes into a TV turned off on foggy midnights, will see an image of their destined soul mate. After a couple of murders occurring the day after, however, it soon becomes apparent to Soji and his new friends that the image appearing in the Midnight Channel is that of the person about to die.

Possessing the mysterious power of “Persona” bestowed upon him by series mainstay (and forever enigmatic) Igor, Soji must travel into the world beyond the television to rescue the latest victim to appear onscreen. With the help of fellow classmates Yosuke (a friendly but klutzy transfer student sorely requiring a lesson in bicycling as well as talking to girls) and Chie (a martial arts loving tomboy who loves to stick her foot into other people’s personal lives, as well as the private parts of people who agitate her), who both quickly acquire their own Personas, the three students form a veritable Mystery Machine, with the mysterious Teddie serving as their guide to the TV World as well as token Scooby, using his nose to help track the people thrown into the TV World against their will, along with analyzing the weaknesses of nearby enemies as well as delivering a few “un-bearable” puns.

Despite having a somewhat darker tone than the previous Persona with its story of midnight murders and inner conflicts surrounding its characters, the brighter colors and pop-influenced music mask the foreboding mystery with much more vibrancy than its predecessor, and the lighthearted aesthetics carry into the dungeons as well; Each section of the TV World changes its appearance in relation to the victim trapped within it, literally turning the prisoner’s inner struggles and doubts into a live TV show filled with aggressive Shadow enemies, including a Boss Shadow that manifests itself into a living embodiment of the victim’s inner desires and fears.

The visual shift in the dungeons help to really characterize everyone, from quiet Yukiko’s desire to have someone whisk her away from her mundane life as a caretaker of Inaba’s famous Inn, to Chie’s dependency on people’s dependence on her to hide her own inner weakness, and even one character’s sexual orientation manifesting into a hilarious but ultimately disturbing scenario for the Investigation Team to navigate through.

Yet even beyond the dungeons, characterization plays a huge role in Persona 4 in the form of Social Links. Those who played Persona 3 would be fully aware of the importance in forming social bonds with the residents of Inaba, as spending time with each individual will help strengthen their relationship with the protagonist, as well as strengthening his acquired Personas. The Social Link system applies to the protagonist’s own teammates as well, with one on one sessions resulting in closer bonds that increase the rank of their respective Social Link, along with developing a new special ability that may do extra damage to Shadows, or protect the hero from receiving a similar attack from retaliating enemies.

And while a fellow student warns Soji early on that he may grow “bored” with nothing to do in Inaba, there is actually a lot more activities players can partake in compared to Persona 3’s larger yet somewhat empty city. In addition to spending after school grocery shopping with female friends (and potential love interests) or practicing in a sports club with male peers, players can also sign up for part time jobs that can result in extra cash, a raise in personal stats (volunteering to make paper cranes at home, for example, will raise the hero’s Diligence, while working at a local daycare can raise his Understanding), or even a new friend to create a Social Link with. In addition, players can also purchase books, go fishing, prepare a school lunch, study for mid terms, or just head to the oversized flat screen TV at Junes to explore the dungeon at your leisure.

Indeed, the social interaction between the characters makes up the core of Persona 4. Even ignoring the optional Social Link events, there is a large amount of dialogue and cutscenes, almost entirely voiced by mainstay anime voice actors (ironically, Yuri Lowenthal, who voiced the main hero of Persona 3, has been bumped down to cast second banana Yosuke in the sequel). Many of these scenes have little to do with the actual murder mystery, but that fact hardly becomes noticeable considering the sheer charm and personality each character displays; Even though the residents of Inaba follow Japanese standards and traditions, they display enough quirks and traits that North American players will have no problem relating to. The dialog-to-gameplay ratio may frustrate action-heavy gamers (the opening in particular runs for over an hour before the first dungeon is revealed), but patient players and especially fans of RPGs will have no problem sitting through the enjoyable interactions between the Investigation Team and their haphazard (and often hilarious) attempts to solve a mystery that is well above their league. Of course they could always involve Soji’s detective uncle, but it’s always more fun to solve the case with friends, isn’t it?

Despite being a PS2 title with even barely even half the budget of a Final Fantasy title, Persona 4’s simple graphics are anything but mediocre; Aside from the rich palette and colors used to give the setting a 70’s TV show aesthetic (but not like “That 70’s Show”), the locations within Inaba are full of little details to give it a “lived-in” feel, and the character models may lack strong textures or facial expressions, but have no problem expressing their emotions through hand-drawn portraits and comic book-style thought bubbles. The music is also a wonderful collection of pop-heavy engrish and moody piano pieces; during battle, half the characters appear to be tapping their feet to the catchy battle theme, and real life players may find themselves doing the same.

As for the actual fighting portion of the game, navigating the dungeons and engaging random enemies is almost entirely similar to Persona 3, save for some small but much needed improvements. During battle, it is now possible to take full control of all party members, a tactic that becomes almost necessary when facing high level bosses. It is also no longer necessary to talk to each individual party member to manage their equipment or ask for healing, as both can now be done on the main menu screen. There is a tradeoff to the streamlined management, however, as dungeons no longer have halfway markers that instantly send players back to the main entrance. Instead, players must rely on the Goho-M item to instantly warp back (it is, at least, possible to start on the last floor that the item was used on).

Another handicap is that party members will no longer regain their health when escaping to the main entrance, relying on either items or an optional social link partner to heal them (the latter won’t heal for free, however, nor is he cheap). The ideal way to play this game is to balance out the protagonist’s life; Study for school, raise the Social Links of friends, explore the dungeon bit by bit is the way to go, although keep in mind that there is a time limit to rescuing the latest victim of the TV World that will require keeping tabs on the weather report; After a week of straight rain passes, the fog will return, and players watching the Midnight Channel at that time will be treated to an on-screen execution of the person they failed to save, followed by the Game Over screen.

Even though the game gives plenty of time to level up (both physically and socially) before the target’s deadline is up, the repeated dungeon visits in order to grind could prove frustrating, especially when enemies become too weak to offer any significant experience points. Likewise, powerful enemies can be quite cheap, randomly tossing powerful attacks or targeting a specific party member with their element of weakness. As in Persona 3, if the main character falls in battle, it’s an automatic Game Over. Fortunately, the effects of each Persona’s abilities can be displayed with the push of a button, a much needed addition for RPG players used to basic spell names like “Fire” and “Cure” but having no idea what “Sukukaja”, “Tentarafoo” or “Maragidyne” does.

In the end, Persona 4 can be forgiven for its sporadic difficulty and still-antiquated elements, because the story, characters, and addictive “life-managing” mechanics make it an RPG not only worthy of rivaling its high-def successors, but surpassing them completely. It may be the PS2’s final role playing game, but it couldn’t ask for a better swan song.

Score: 5/5

Someday, the village of Tenuto hopes to achieve actual gameplay

I’m sure most of you have heard of Zero Punctuation, and routinely check out his latest vids almost every Wednesday. I get a good chuckle out of his fast-paced British snobbishness now and then, but lately I feel that he’s been phoning it in, trolling games just for the sake of trolling. He’s been especially venomous with his reviews of critically received games like Mirror’s Edge and MGS4, using metaphors revolving around fecal matter and pissed-on graves. It’s like he’s trying to emulate some of Angry Video Game Nerd’s wordplay to increase his audience.

Anyway, while checking out ZP’s latest vid, I came across a new segment on the website called Unskippable. The basis of this section appears to be two guys tossing in little comments and poking while a cutscene from a game is playing. It’s basically like Mystery Science Theater 3000, only with videogames.

The concept is so simple and brilliant, I’m surprised it wasn’t thought of sooner. And it worked too. I found myself laughing quite a bit as this pair ripped Eternal Sonata a new one. Keep in mind I very much enjoyed the game myself, but I make no apologies to the fact that it’s very easy to make fun of, especially with its incredibly long, pretentious cutscenes that seem to go on forever.

I’m looking forward to what Unskippable will be roasting next, and I can only hope they revisit ES again during its mid-game death scene, which is quite possibly the most drawn out, ridiculous death scene since Othello.

Surrender the Fried Chicken or there will be….Trouble

It’s been slow around these parts, lately. That’s to be expected, since most people are still decomposing decompressing into the new year.

No new games have been received from Armchair or the newly hired Z Connect, although both have promised work to be delivered soon. This Thursday or Friday, however, will see my review of Persona 4 go up, officially making me the last person on the internet to review it. Maybe I should apply for a job at Kotaku…

Today I’ll also be starting some courses on the road to (I hope) a Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice. I’ve suffered long and hard wondering what my life’s purpose would be, while ironically denying the one field that all signs pointed to. I took a one week Fingerprinting seminar at a local Police Academy, and not only enjoyed it, but felt like it was a field I could devote myself to. I hope this is finally it.

So after wasting your time with promises of new reviews plus hearing me whine like Shinji mid-season, I’ll leave you with Robocop stealing a Korean family’s fried chicken.

I bet that fridge cost more than a dollar, Robo Dick.

Empowered Editorials: 2008: It was the Best of Times, it was the Blurst of Times

2008 was….an expected year really. Sure, we got a nice haul of great games (almost rivaling 2007’s surge of titles), but many of this year’s highly anticipated releases were games announced over two years ago while we were still pining over new details on the PS3 (Metal Gear Solid 4) and the Wii (Super Smash Bros Brawl).

But after those long developed titles finally got dumped on us, there wasn’t much else to really get excited over, nor were there any major announcements to make 2009 a year to look forward to (with the exception of Starcraft II for the PC crowd, and hopefully Final Fantasy XIII for the console crowd).

Regardless, 2008 was a stellar gaming year, and I’ve decided to devote my last post of the year to listing my top picks under my self-nominated categories.

Just please keep in mind that my choices are based solely on my own opinions and preferences, and also only reflect the titles that I played this year (so no mention of how supposedly great Fable II is, or how horrible Too Human turned out).

And the winners are…

Game of the Year:

Valkyria Chronicles

Why yes, Otacon. Yes it can.

There was a considerable amount of hype over Valkyria Chroncicles’  impending NA release from early importers, but none of the trailers or screenshots convinced me of the game standing out from Sega’s previous (and below average) releases. Once the demo was made available on PSN, however, ten minutes was all I needed to completely reverse my expectations. Lots of next-gen titles this year have focused on pushing the graphical hardware of the current consoles to their limits, often foregoing gameplay in favor of high res visuals. Valkyria Chronicles takes a more simplistic approach that ironically makes it one of the most gorgeous games this year, a cell shaded style that isn’t quite anime nor manga inspired, but more like an illustrated storybook. All other elements, from the realtime strategy gameplay, to the sweeping music, to the  wonderful characterization, all come together for my pick of the best game this year.

Runner Up:

LittleBigPlanet

If you ever step on my foot, I'll bring you down, I'll bring you down.

By comparison, the first ever public unveiling of LBP was enough to sell me right away. It was a concept so simple and rife with potential, it’s surprising Nintendo didn’t come up with it (and reportedly, Reggie was quite steamed when watching the game in action); Create a simple but endearing visual style, set it in a 2D platformer setting for nostalgic veterans like me, and give people absolute control in building their own stages and modifying their own Sackpersons. There really was no chance of this game falling apart as long as there was a creative community interested in it. What may have been surprising was how quickly users came up with unique, fun levels in just under a week of the official release. Whether it’s an undersea adventure, a recreation of someone’s living room, or a recreation of an existing game (from Mario to Sonic, and even Silent Hill), LBP has gotten the community it desired, and with new level items and other DLC to be released on a frequent basis, the user-created levels are only going to get better and more varied as the months roll on to years.

Hero of the Year:

Zack Fair (Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII)

You're The Man Now, Dog! All the ladies are lining up for Vitamin Zack!

Nearly every character in Final Fantasy VII has his or her own dedicated fanbase, but I was always confounded by the large number of fans Zack had, considering that his onscreen time in the original game was around ten minutes, max. It seems people were more attracted to the idea of him, the SOLDIER whom Cloud drew all his inspiration (and fighting skills) from, but who seemed to have a more lighthearted outlook on life than his mentally tortured successor. Well, it only took the opening FMV to Crisis Core to let you know just how different Zack and Cloud were; Recreating the original game’s opening, Crisis Core shows Zack hitch a train and take on an army of guards with more humor, flare, and fun than Cloud ever had, and his upbeat personality just carries on throughout the game, inspiring both future friends (Cloud, Aerith) and foes (Sephiroth). Although he has personal dilemmas and doubts about himself like most FF protagonists, Zack never lets those emotions tie him down, and he bravely faces any challenge, no matter how impossible the odds. I didn’t get the Zack hype ten years ago, but Crisis Core has turned him into one of my favorite Final Fantasy heroes of all time.

Runner Up:

Welkin Gunther (Valkyria Chronicles)

I've studied over 200 kinds of insects and plants. Your Ass is Mine.

Welkin reminds me quite a bit of Tom Hanks’ character in Saving Private Ryan; A simple country-bred man with aspirations to be a teacher finds himself thrust into an erupting war that seeks to engulf his homeland. Despite appearing strange to his other teammates over his obsessions with nature and insects, Welkin uses the knowledge he understands to win a war he doesn’t. His unshakable belief to always do the right thing  in a conflict where no one is entirely evil may label him as ignorant, but this nature lover is the best ally you could possibly hope to have in this war.

Heroine of the Year:

Isara Gunther (Valkyria Chronicles)

I can't think of a good line to put here, so I'll just settle with "<3"

For fans of the game, it might seem strange that I chose Isara over lead heroine Alicia (who was also a strong written heroine), especially since she may at first appear to be no different from previous “Healer” characters (referring to characters that “heal” their teammates with their positive outlook and friendly demeanor, not just anyone who can actually use magic) such as FFVII’s Aerith. The difference here is that while Isara is as innocent and pure as can be, she also never hesitates to speak her mind when her Darcsen race (the game’s fictional foreigners) is persecuted, as well as doing whatever it takes to defend her friends (from shooting enemies in the back to piloting the one sole tank in a village of armed soldiers). Despite the racist insults she endures (including from her own teammates), Isara’s gentle demeanor with her friends, as well as her commitment in battle, never falters, and your admiration of her will only increase as the game’s story moves forward.

Runner Up:

Zoey (Left 4 Dead)

Goddamned Fanboys.

Francis, Bill and Louis should count themselves lucky that the sole female survivor is as cute as Zoey. They should be even more fortunate that she’s quite resourceful, dispatching any manner of zombie threat no matter what weapon she’s got on hand. College girls in blue jeans seem to be a popular fetish for fans of zombie settings, but Zoey is one character that online gamers are quick to choose during the lobby screen.

Villain of the Year:

Gongora (Lost Odyssey)

It's too bad those thousand years of scheming villainy didn't result in a more menacing laugh. Or a better haircut.

Too many bad guys these days are etched in gray, having motivations that aren’t entirely inhuman or selfish. Since Lost Odyssey was made in part to appeal to nostalgic RPG players, it’s a bit refreshing to face a good old fashioned, maniacal villain like Gongora that you’d have no problem in delivering his comeuppance. An immortal being like protagonist Kaim, Gongora decided to forsake his initial duties and instead decided to spend the next thousand years to systematically screw with his immortal companions while planting the seeds for his plans to rule the world. Unfortunately, he also follows the classic villain blunder by staging his final battle with the heroes in the one place where he can be killed as a mere mortal. Dumbass.

Runner Up:

Sephiroth (Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII)

See you next year (wink wink).

Okay, so it’s a bit of a cheat to nominate an old, celebrated villain like Sephiroth, but Crisis Core proved that the bastard’s still got it, and that it’s still fun to hate him. However, in this FFVII prequel, you actually get to see a semblance of humanity in Sephiroth, as he begins as an initial ally for Zack, even sparing his feelings when forced to engage another ally-turned-enemy. Watching his real-time descent to evil struck the right kind of emotional chords, especially when the story momentarily shifts from Zack’s perspective to a certain up and coming soldier that sparks one of the biggest videogame rivalries of all time….

Graphics of the Year:

Dead Space

In Space, no one can see the jaggies.

There were lots of pretty games this year, but I have to give Dead Space the award for best graphics. You may be stranded in a gore ridden space station, but the setting doesn’t impede EA from showing off some really impressive visuals; The corridors of the ship are full of nice little details such as flashing lights, destroyed furniture, and mountains of torn limbs and leaked intestines decorating the floors, but the graphics truly astonish whenever you’re forced to step outside, with pale blue lighting effects, shooting stars, and a huge moon distracting players from hurrying to the next area before their oxygen runs out.

Runner Up:

Metal Gear Solid 4

So I've gone half-cyborg, chopped up a hundred robots, puked white blood and chopped off my own limbs. Am I popular yet?

Much like MGS2’s first unveiling, MGS4’s trailer gave people the first clear look on what next gen systems like the PS3 can do. Lots of skeptics trolled the internet with claims that the footage wasn’t running on PS3 hardware, and that the game would be significantly downgraded once it was finally released. Wrong and wrong; Metal Gear Solid 4 delivers in its graphical splendor and aesthetics (my personal favorite touch is when dirt and grime stain the TV screen when uprooted from a huge explosion), even if other games managed to catch up graphics-wise by the time it finally launched. Regardless, MGS4 stands above those other titles with its remarkable character models and effects, but is just a hair from reaching first place due to some middling textures on buildings and a frame rate that sometimes shifts from 30 to 60 fps while navigating indoor buildings.

Soundtrack of the Year:

Mega Man 9

Nobody preaches as much as I do on how current games should be using real instruments to compose their soundtracks over outdated synthesizers and MIDI tools. That said, Capcom should still be commended for not only sticking to an 8 bit sound board for its retro sequel to Mega Man, but for perfectly capturing the nostalgic feel of oldschool NES music. It can’t be an easy task to create new music that takes players back to their childhood, but MM9 pulled it off beautifully. It also made for some great fan-made remixes, such as the guitar medley above. You can grab the mp3 (made by me) here.

Runner Up:

Lost Odyssey

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Lost Odyssey features a soundtrack that is almost completely performed by a live orchestra by the legendary Nobuo Uematsu, who not only delivers an emotional selection of songs for the game, but also conjures up nostalgic feelings of his previous works on the Final Fantasy series. It’s just unfortunate that only two discs worth of music was created for a 50 hour game, resulting in several songs repeating over and over throughout the game. As wonderful as some of these orchestral performances are, you’re bound to get tired of it after hearing it over fifty times. I made an mp3 of this recording (from a 1080p avi file) that you can download here.

Online Game of the Year:

Left 4 Dead

Insert whatever Zombie-related quote you want. They all work.

It was a concept that’s been attempted several times, but never successfully; Throw players into an online setting where they have to work together to survive a city-wide infestation of zombies and zombie-related monstrosities. Leave it to Valve to finally make it work, although the idea was so simple it’s amazing no other company could make it happen. You and three other players must cooperate to survive wave after wave of zombies, which happen to be closer to the pissed off marathon running zombies from the 28 series than the slow moving kind from Resident Evil. One thing it does copy from the latter game, however, is the variety of “Boss Zombies” that show up at the worst times possible to thin out your group. There’s little else as entertaining as hearing your teammates shout expletives as the music shifts to introduce the Tank zombie, but it also makes for great fun to play with a group that knows what they’re doing and survive all the way to the final area (in which everyone must take up defenses in a house while fighting off an endless horde until the rescue vehicle arrives). It’s one of the most entertaining online games ever made, and that’s just with four areas; Just wait for the eventual updates and mods.

Runner Up:

Gears of War 2 (Horde Mode)

Screaming out "Tickerrrrrs!!" in your headset never gets old.

Gears of War 2 is full of new multiplayer modes that substantially improve the paltry (but addicting) offerings of the first game, but the new Horde mode stands out as the most fun. Basically a glorified Survival game, players must fend off wave after wave of Locust enemies using whatever skills and weapons they have on hand, and being rewarded with even stronger enemies as they advance in levels. It’s an enjoyable Acrade-like experience that also helps to determine which players in your Xbox friend’s list can be relied upon and which ones make for cannon fodder.

Downloadable Game of the Year:

Bionic Commando Rearmed

Now do Blaster Master next. Pretty please.

Plenty of games have been remade, but few have retained its original gameplay mechanics and perspective like BC:R. The first game has been a cult favorite for years, but I was never a big fan until the remake spruced up the visuals and tightened the gameplay to near perfection. Not just a simple paint job, this was clearly a project made by fans and for fans, and it opens the door to new possibilities of classic NES games that are begging to get similar treatment.

Runner Up:

Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix

Too bad the A.I. wasn't tweaked up to date. I hate the Blanka CPU so very hard.

Capcom really delivered with the downloadable games this year. Scoffed by angry purists for butchering the classic sprite artstyle, Udon delivered a Spinning Bird Kick to the naysayers by delivering a gorgeous, hi def look to the classic SFII game while retaining the same gameplay that still holds up to today’s fighters. Now the trolls are begging for Marvel vs Capcom or Street Fighter III to get a similar treatment in the future. I don’t see that happening soon, but at least this game’s strong sales won’t immediately dismiss the possibility.

Tearjerker of the Year:

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII

I can only hope the "other couple" get a poignant moment like this in the next entry.

Much of the emotional moments of Crisis Core are for fans who are already aware of the fates of these characters in the original game (I won’t be spoiling it for the handful still in the dark), but Square rewards those fans with plenty of moments that are both tender and ominous. But even newbies may find themselves choking back the tears during Zack’s rise to heroism, especially with the fantastically delivered climax (which even makes use of the gameplay mechanic to drive home the emotion).

Runner Up:

Valkyria Chronicles

The cute anime designs may lighten the war theme, but it can also make it more tragic.

Even though the cast of characters rush into the battlefield with the sort of enthusiasm only found in anime, it doesn’t mask the fact that war is hell; Many cutscenes feature moments of brutality, such as civilians being shot while fleeing, or young children forced into slavery. When tragedy strikes, these characters drop the superhero facade and weep appropriately, and during a couple of key moments in the story, you might find yourself doing the same.

Fan-Made Project of the Year:

Mother 3

I promised Armchair a Retro Review for this game. I should get started on that soon.

The diligent translators of Starmen.net deserve all the praise gamers can offer, because without their release of their fan-translated patch, they may never get to experience one of the greatest Nintendo titles of all time, an excellent game that remains a Japanese exclusive. There isn’t enough room here to describe how wonderful Mother 3 is, so do yourselves a favor and get patchin’.

Import Game of the Year:

Dissidia: Final Fantasy

More like "Warrior of Bad Ass"

Impatient importers unable to wait until Mid ‘09 for the english version of this game won’t have much trouble playing it in its native language. While it may prove impossible to equip items and accessories with a guide, it’s still a cinch to jump into a fight and engage the onscreen commands for some good Final Fantasy brawlin’. I can only hope the NA version adds a few improvements and additions, including a much needed tweak for Ex-Death (aka Slowpoke).

Biggest Disappointment of the Year:

Gears of War 2

Use whatever "Butt Raped" quote you want. They all work.

The sequel to Gears of War is an improvement in almost every conceivable way; Better graphics, a more engaging (but not better written) story, a slew of new multiplayer mode and tweaks to overpowered weapons and exploits. So why is it my biggest disappointment of the year? The horribly slow Matchmaking system. For a company that should have online play down to a science, Epic has somehow made it worse to join an online game than the original Gears ever did. With frequent timeouts and restarts, players hoping for a weekend of multiplayer mayhem will have to spend half the night just waiting to join a game. To make matters worse, it’s been nearly three months since its release and the issue still hasn’t been dealt with. It’s utterly inexcusable for such a highly anticipated online game to perform as badly as Nintendo’s Super Smash Bros Brawl. They didn’t do much to fix the shoddy A.I. partners in Story Mode, either, as Dom tends to shoot Locusts with the accuracy of a Stormtrooper while ignoring your cries for revival.

Runner Up:

Metal Gear Solid 4

Boy, I'd sure like to sneak around and shoot bad guys right now.

Considering the ridiculous expectations this game was carrying (“This will be the game that sells me a PS3!”), it shouldn’t be surprising that MGS4 couldn’t deliver all the hype. Make no mistake, it’s a fantastic finale (?) to the Metal Gear series, but it was also the first time where I felt there were too many cutscenes. With a souped up graphics engine and all sorts of new gameplay tricks and weapons, I found myself tapping my foot to the endless dialog and exposition and just explore the war torn terrain. I later learned the sad truth that there’s only at least 1/4 of actual gameplay, while the other 3/4 is dedicated to wrapping up this crazy story. The final area of the game consists of maybe twenty minutes of actual gameplay, followed by over two hours of story. And there weren’t even that many Codec contacts this time around, which I’m usually quite fond of. The online portion also suffers from many, many problems (a ridiculously sized text window along with numerous lagging exploits), but at least you can jump into a game much quicker than in Gears of War 2.

Biggest Douchebag of the Year:

Edward (Infinite Undiscovery)

The feeling's more than mutual, sir.

My biggest regret this year was buying this game on launch, just because I had a 10% coupon at Best Buy; In nearly a month, the game dropped down to $30, and I’ve barely devoted three hours to it. It’s not a bad RPG, mind you, but it wasn’t a must have either. None of the characters are terribly likeable either, but none of them compare to Edward here, who introduces himself by screaming his head off at new recruit Capell (the protagonist).  At first it would seem he was just playing the cliche role of the hardened soldier who doesn’t trust the new guy in the group, but you soon learn that he even treats his longtime companions like shit. The only person he’s nice to is leader and legendary hero Sigmund, but his obsession over Sigmund borders on a Wayland Smithers level of devotion. Douche.

Runner Up:

The A.I. Director (Left 4 Dead)

Assuming he was an actual character, he'd probably look like this.

While not an actual character in the game (at least I don’t think so), the A.I. in charge of placing zombies, ammo, and boss zombies randomly in L4D has had his name cursed by players on their deathbeds from a Tank attack. I can’t entirely call the A.I. Director a douche, though, because while he makes things challenging and oftentimes unfair, he also guarantees that each session in L4D’s campaign is never boring. He also punishes unsporting teammates who think they can reach the Safe House all on their own by sicking Hunters and Smokers on the cocky bastard’s ass.

Most Absurdly Proportioned/Dressed Female of the Year:

Ivy Valentine (Soul Calibur IV)

She's supposed to be dying according to the story. Looks pretty darn healthy to me.

Someone should teach Japan the meaning of the word “Restraint”, because they clearly don’t have it when it comes to the breastification of their female characters. Whether or not this is a criticicm is entirely up to you, but make no mistake, Ivy easily takes the top-heavy cake this year with an impossible pair of mammaries supported together by bits of string that she calls an “outfit”. Ivy’s curves are so monstrously large, she’s even taken prying eyes away from previously stacked spandex queen Taki.

Runner Up:

Sonia (Ninja Gaiden II)

At least she doesn't end up covered in goo like Rachel.

It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that Itadaki would toss in a new addition to his “beloved daughters” at his newest (and possibly final) Team Ninja game. Despite wearing attire highly inappropriate for a CIA agent, Sonia’s outfit isn’t as fetish fueled as Rachel’s, but she still finds herself kidnapped and tied up in provocative poses that accent her massive, infinitely bouncing orbs. To her credit, she at least manages to be far more useful in Ryu’s quest for dismemberment and slaughter, and manages to get kidnapped one time less than Rachel. Even Ryu seems interested enough to stick around after the credits for some under the cover, undercover action.

Goriest Game of the Year:

Dead Space

Would you believe this is one of the cleaner firefights in this game?

As I mentioned before, Dead Space has some very pretty visuals, which also result in some very ugly moments of gore. I’m by no means the squeamish type, but even I’ve been unsettled by the copious chunks of meat plastered around the room after blasting a Zombalien (my word, not theirs) to bits. The crunching noise as you plant your massive space boots into a creature’s head is especially gut wrenching, but that’s not mentioning areas where the walls are covered in gore (“looks like someone threw up their intestines all over the wall”, says one of your teammates), or the obese Zombaliens attached to walls that scream in pain as they continuously give birth to monstrous babies that you must also smash to bits with your space boots. That’s right, there’s also monster babies.

Runner Up:

Fallout 3

When your speech level just isn't high enough, try making some jam sandwiches.

In the post-nuclear world of Fallout 3, it’s survival of the fittest, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun with the VATS system to blast any ganglander stupid enough to attack you to meat chunks. Unlike Dead Space, Fallout 3’s gore can be almost comical, as you watch chunks of brain matter and severed eyeballs flying in every direction in Matrix-style slow motion. This can also result in some very evil acts depending on the player, such as randomly visiting a neighboring house at night and  blowing the head off the wife sleeping soundly next to her husband; Not that I would know anything about that (or at least, I didn’t save afterwards).

The “I hope it’s good” Prediction of 2009:

Batman: Arkham Asylum

It's a funny world we live in. Speaking of which...

The only good Batman games I ever played were the NES sidescroller by Sunsoft, and the Final Fight ripoff Batman Returns on the SNES. Regardless, I’ve got high hopes for Arkham Asylum due to three primary names: Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamil, and Bruce Timm. Wisely taking the three most important veterans from the Animated Series, it’s my sincere hope that AA ends up as a stellar game that plays out like a mature episode of the DCAU cartoon. Either way, I can’t wait to hear Hamil adding a bit of Heath Ledger’s touch into his already famous Joker voice.

The “I hope this comes out” Prediction of 2009:

Final Fantasy XIII

I'll be surprised if we even get the demo in March.

According to Square, FFXIII is a lot closer to completion than we think, and should very well be released by 2009. That’s well and good for Japanese players, but there’s always a 3-6 month wait for NA fans, so even if they were to get the game by Winter 2009, that doesn’t bode well for us Americans hoping not to wait until 2010. It would be great if Square NA actually worked to get the game translated and dubbed simultaneously worldwide, but they seem only interested in putting that kind of effort to Kingdom Hearts titles.

The “No chance of being released in 2009, but I’ll hope anyway” Prediction of 2009:

Final Fantasy Versus XIII

Waiting Game sucks, let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos.

It’s been stated before that Versus won’t be released until after FFXIII, but even if we do manage to get the game out by 2009, I’ll continue to anticipate Nomura’s dark entry into the Final Fantasy series, which could end up the best of the FFXIII titles.

The “I hope this gets announced at E3, TGS, or Whatever” Prediction of 2009:

Final Fantasy VII Remake

I'm out of things to say. Just announce it already, Square.

It’s become a tradition this gen to await each yearly game conference and hope that Final Fantasy VII is finally announced for the PS3 (or Xbox 360, which doesn’t seem so impossible anymore, or the Nintendo Wii, for people just trolling). Regardless, I’ll continue to refresh my screen during each conference in the hopes that the game will finally be made official. The day that happens (and it will happen, it’s not a question of if) will be a glorious one, indeed.